"WELL, that's the last time I'll ever have to do that," should refer to something important, you know, really significant. I did think that, which is why when I said it, I startled myself. Alone in front of the dinnerware section of a Big Box Store, looking at all the dish patterns, lovely ones, elegant, and casual, I realized that 1) I didn't want launch another design crusade to match new kitchen tools and dishware. And 2) This is when I shocked myself: "Since this is the last time I'll ever have to buy new dishes, I'll just buy that white indestructible stuff." Then, 3) I felt oddly free! And, finally, 4) wondered if I was depressed.
Referred to as "a woman of a certain age," "60 something," and even "mid-century (!)," (you do mean the 1940's, the middle of the 20th century, the same century most of you were born in, right?), I'm in the last quarter of the game, the last laps of the race, final …oh, you know what I mean. As an auntie said with her great Texas glee and drawl, "we're gettin' owwwwlllllllld!" As the big seven zero gets closer, I had no idea I never again wanted to pick out new dishes. Does this mean my life lost its tastiness?
Lunch with my friend who passed over the big 70 hill a long time ago and a question for her: am I morbid thinking about things I'll never have to do again (there have been other "never agains" in the past, like not having periods, but no one thinks that's morbid.) My friend responded, NO, things we believed important, even harmless things like perfectly matched kitchen gizmos must fall away or we will be too distracted to become fully mature humans.
Whoa. I didn't know there was a "mature enough to die" list. But this I do know. Life has been difficult enough that I want to take all the benefits from the maturing I have accomplished and not arrive at the end half baked. Can't seem to get away from kitchen metaphors. So, I have let the kitchen go, stylish new dishes, matching gizmos, and even cooking. I need time to look into this "are you mature enough to leave the planet" list. I also wonder what else is on the "that's the last time" list.
